SUPPORT A PERSON
How to support a woman/girl in a violent situation
What to do when a friend, colleague, family member or acquaintance is in a situation of domestic and/or family violence, or has been sexually assaulted?
1. Ask questions
If you suspect abuse, ask her a few questions to clarify her situation, and to possibly support her in disclosing some of the abusive acts or situations she is experiencing.
"How are you feeling these days? »
"Does your partner often have mood swings like this? »
2. Listen and believe
When someone confides in you about their abusive situation, offer to listen carefully. The act of sharing experiences of violence is often stressful and requires courage. It is important to listen, to believe what they say, to be empathetic to their situation and not to minimise, ridicule or trivialise what they are experiencing. This will prevent the person from feeling judged and will make them feel supported.
"Thank you for trusting me and sharing this with me.
"I believe you".
3. Validate your experience
Listen to her and believe her. Take her feelings into account and let her know that she is not alone. Many other people have had similar experiences. Emphasise that the abuse is not her fault and that no one deserves to be abused.
"No one deserves to be in this kind of situation. »
"This kind of attitude/violence (from your partner) is not normal. »
"It's not your fault! »
4. Respect their choices
Leaving an abusive relationship or making a complaint is a difficult process and it is common that it takes time. Each person has a different pace and it is important to respect their choices, even if they do not leave the relationship or complain. Let them make their own decisions, without telling them what to do (they are the experts on their situation).
"You are in charge. »
"I respect your decision and I am here for you. »
5. Stay tuned
Stay present in the person's life. Let them know you are available when they are ready and stay tuned. Stay in touch without judging them for their decisions. A person in an abusive situation should be able to confide in you without fear of judgment.
"I am here for you. »
"How are you today? »
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